Following Up Your Wedding Invitations: A Polite Primer

After you’ve sent out your wedding invitations, the next big step is managing RSVPs. It’s common to have a few guests who don’t respond by the deadline. While it might seem daunting, following up is essential for finalising your guest list and catering numbers. Here’s a polite and effective way to handle this task, ensuring you get the information you need without causing any discomfort.

Why Follow-Up Is Necessary

Final Headcount: Knowing exactly how many guests to expect is crucial for seating arrangements, catering, and other logistical aspects of your wedding planning.

Avoiding Miscommunications: Sometimes, invitations or RSVPs get lost in the mail, or guests might forget to respond. A follow-up can clarify these situations.

When to Start Following Up

Begin the follow-up process a week after your RSVP deadline. This gives stragglers a little extra time to send their responses without delaying your planning process too much.

How to Follow Up

Make a List: Start by making a list of guests who haven’t responded. This will help you track whom you’ve contacted and their responses.

Choose Your Method: Decide whether you’ll reach out via phone, email, or text. A phone call is often the most effective and personal method, but choose what feels best for your relationship with each guest.

Prepare Your Script: Know what you’ll say or write ahead of time. Keep it light, friendly, and straightforward. For example:

  • Phone/Text: “Hi [Name], I hope you’re well! We’re so excited about the wedding on [date] and were hoping to see if you’ll be able to join us. We need to give our final numbers to the caterer soon, so could you let us know by [specific date]? Looking forward to hopefully celebrating together!”
  • Email: Draft a similar message, perhaps a bit more formal, and consider including a note about how much it would mean to have them there.
  • Be Understanding: Some guests may have valid reasons for not responding or being unable to attend. Express understanding and appreciation for them letting you know.

Handling Different Responses

  • Yes, Attending: Confirm any meal choices or other relevant details now if you haven’t already.
  • No, Not Attending: Express your disappointment, but thank them for letting you know.
  • Uncertain: If a guest is still unsure, ask gently if they can let you know by a specific but reasonable extended deadline.

Tips for a Smooth Follow-Up Process

  • Delegate: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to ask for help from your wedding party or family members.
  • Stay Organized: Keep a record of who you’ve contacted and their responses to avoid any confusion later.
  • Express Gratitude: Regardless of whether the news is good or bad, thank each guest for responding and your conversation on a positive note.


Following up on wedding invitation RSVPs is a task that, while potentially tedious, is essential for the smooth execution of your big day. Approaching this task with kindness, understanding, and organisation will not only help you finalise your plans but also maintain good relationships with your guests. Remember, the goal is to celebrate your love surrounded by friends and family, and a little follow-up ensures that everyone who wants to be part of your special day can be there.

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