Why is it always so difficult to plan a wedding? The answer has two parts to it. Firstly, for the vast majority of people planning their wedding, it’s their first time getting married – and therefore the first time they’ve ever had to do it. Very few brides- and grooms-to-be have had to organise an event this large before!
Secondly, so many people jump blindly into wedding planning without doing much (or any) research in advance. Consequently, there are lots of wedding planning myths going around which are just plain false. And if you believe any of these factoids, your wedding planning experience could end up much more stressful than it needs to be.
Today, we’re going to be examining 11 of the most common wedding planning myths. We’ll debunk each one, explain why it’s not true, and give you the real low-down. By the end, you’ll be able to approach your wedding planning journey with all the facts.
The Most Common Wedding Planning Myths and Why They Aren’t True
So, without further ado, let’s get into it. Here are 11 myths about wedding planning that so many people take as gospel, but just aren’t true whatsoever. Bear all of these in mind before you get stuck into organising your big day.
You Can Do Everything Yourself
You definitely don’t need to hire a professional wedding planner (though, if you can spare the cash, they definitely make life a lot easier). But if you decide to go it alone, please, please don’t assume that you’ll be able to do it all single-handedly. Planning a wedding is a huge job, and you can’t be expected to choose, make, buy, order, book, set up and organise everything yourself.
As the bride/groom, you can definitely spearhead the planning, and make all of the important decisions. But if you have a few friends or family members who are willing to lend a hand (such as the mother of the bride, best man, maid of honour, etc.), at least let them help with the logistics and execution.
Only the Bride’s Opinion Matters
Weddings are often seen and referred to as “the bride’s big day”. There’s no doubt that the focus of a wedding is centred slightly more on the bride than the groom – she’s the one that walks down the aisle in front of everyone, after all. However, you have to remember that there are two people getting married, and your big day is just as much about the groom as it is about the bride.
If your fiancé has an opinion about something which you disagree with, try to come to a compromise, rather than insisting it’s your way or the highway. If he really doesn’t want a baby-pink colour scheme, or he thinks the budget for flowers is too high, listen to him. Remember that it’s not all about you. Being a ‘bridezilla’ will cause nothing but arguments, tension and resentment.
It’s Important to Stick to Tradition
Wedding traditions are important to a great number of people in this country, especially the older generations. But times are changing – weddings don’t have to look a certain way, or follow a specific format anymore. The bouquet toss, the speeches, the wedding cake, the bridesmaids – every wedding tradition is entirely optional. Don’t like flowers? Then don’t have any. Don’t want to wear a white dress? Wear a suit instead, or a pair of blue jeans. Two left feet? Then don’t feel pressured to have a ‘first dance’.
While planning your wedding, you will undoubtedly face opposition from family members who insist that something must to be done in such-and-such a way. But remember: the only values that matter are those of the couple getting married. If a tradition is important to you, then by all means honour it. If it’s not, then there’s no need to.
You Have to Invite [Insert Person Here]
When it comes to the guest list, you may feel pressured to invite certain people – such as colleagues, your parents’ friends, aunts and uncles that you haven’t seen in years, and so on.
But there’s no rule stating that you must invite certain people to your wedding. You should invite only whomever you and your partner truly want there. Weddings are expensive enough without having to cater for people that you don’t really know, like, or care about.
Just because someone invited you to their wedding does not mean that you must invite them to yours. Just because you’ve invited one cousin (the one that you actually see regularly) does not mean you’re obligated to invite every cousin in the family.
Wedding Planning is a Full-Time Job
You don’t need to spend every waking moment planning your wedding, from the day you get engaged until the day you get married. That would be enough to drive a person crazy – and it often is. The number of brides who end up having panic attacks or mild breakdowns from all the constant planning and organisation is surprisingly high.
Our advice? Start planning as early as possible, so that you can spend less time each day focused on it. Give yourself dedicated time off from wedding planning, during which time all wedding talk is banned. Confine wedding-related materials to one dedicated room of the house, so that you’re not looking at it everywhere you go. And ask for help if you feel overwhelmed.
Weddings Have to Cost a Lot of Money
The average amount spent on a wedding in the U.K. is around £30,000. If that seems like a lot to you, that’s because it is. It’s a crazy amount of money – it’s more than most people put down as a deposit on a house.
But weddings don’t have to be super-expensive affairs. You can make sensible financial decisions that won’t eat up all your savings, and you should never spend more on your wedding than you can afford. You shouldn’t borrow money for your wedding, or pay for your wedding on credit if you won’t be able to pay it back by the end of the month.
It’s absolutely possible to have a low-budget wedding that’s still special and meaningful. For example, you could make your own wedding cake. Buy your wedding dress second-hand. Have artificial flowers instead of real ones. Forego the 3-course catered dinner and have a casual buffet instead.
The Groom Should Be Just as Enthusiastic as the Bride
This is something which almost every bride- and groom-to-be will argue about in the lead up to the wedding. Why doesn’t your groom seem as enthusiastic or excited about the wedding day as you are? Why isn’t he as willing to get involved in wedding planning as you?
Don’t freak out. This is normal. It’s a myth that the groom has to be just as enthusiastic and involved in wedding-panning as the bride.
There are exceptions to every rule, but in general, men just don’t care as much about weddings as women do. Men are typically more focused on the marriage, rather than the wedding. They don’t care what colour the napkins are, or what kind of tuxedo the best man wears, as long as they’re married at the end of the day.
Party-planning – organising guest lists, decorations, flowers, canapés, outfits, table plans – these are all things that women are (usually) more interested in than men. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you, or that he isn’t excited about becoming your h
Ordering Everything Online Will Save You Money
The internet is a blessing and a supremely useful tool when it comes to the world of wedding planning. For example, there are some wonderful websites where you can design great quality wedding invitations for an affordable price, such as Bride and Groom Direct.
However, online shopping isn’t always trustworthy and doesn’t always save you money. Assume that if it looks too good to be true, it probably is. Websites have been popping up lately that sell things like bridesmaid dresses, wedding dresses, decorations and props for absurdly cheap prices. These products are almost always poorer quality than they look in the pictures.
Ordering online can save time, but it can cause problems when you have to return items that aren’t what you imagined. There are some things, such as wedding dresses, that should always be viewed in person before buying.
Your Wedding Budget is Flexible
Remember earlier, when we said that weddings don’t have to cost a bomb in order to be special and meaningful? If you don’t have unlimited funds (and who among us does), you should create a solid wedding budget before you even start to think about booking or ordering anything wedding-related.
Some people will try to convince you that your wedding budget is flexible, such as bridal shop staff who get paid on commission. The more you spend on a wedding dress, the more money they make.
If you decide on a budget of £1,000 for your wedding dress, stick to it religiously. Don’t be pressured to plump for a gown that’s £1,200 just because it’s a ‘teeny bit’ over budget. Even an extra £50 here and £100 there will start to add up over time. You may end up not being able to afford something really important.
10. You’ve Only Got a Year
There is no ‘correct’ amount of time to spend planning your wedding. Some people have been able to plan an entire wedding in a matter of a few months, while other people take years and years. The idea that your engagement should only last one year, two tops, is old-fashioned. Long engagements are becoming more and more popular these days.
Take as long as you want to plan your wedding. If you’re the kind of person that wants to ‘get it out of the way’, then do that. But if you’d rather get everything organised well in advance, to stop yourself panicking last-minute, feel free to take your time.
11. Your Wedding Has to Be Absolutely Perfect
“Your wedding day is the most important day of your life.” How many times have you heard that? The truth is, a wedding is nothing more than a party that signifies the start of your marriage. It’s nowhere near as important as the marriage itself. So, don’t feel pressured into thinking that your wedding day must be absolutely perfect in every way. You’ll only end up stressed out.
No wedding ends up exactly how the bride and groom envisioned it. Somewhere along the line, something will go wrong, or not be what you imagined it to be. It may be something small, or something significant.
But your wedding day will be perfect in its own way, simply because you are getting married to the love of your life. You may be stressed and worried in the lead up to it, but trust us: on the day itself, you won’t care. You’ll be so blissfully happy to be getting married that you won’t care if your shoe strap breaks, or a toddler shouts during your vows, or the DJ accidentally plays the wrong song. Relax – everything will be alright in the end!