The WORST Wedding Advice You’ll Ever Receive
When you’re planning your wedding, you’ll no doubt turn to friends, family, and strangers on the internet for help and advice. It’s tricky to plan such a big event, especially if you’ve never done so before.
But while everyone is entitled to their own opinion, be careful not to take everything you hear at face value. Some of the advice you’ll hear will be outdated, irrelevant to you, or just plain wrong.
With that in mind, we’ve compiled a list of some of the worst wedding-related advice you’ll receive in the lead-up to your big day. We’ll also explain exactly why each of these pointers is such a bad idea, and what you should do instead.
You Can Organise Everything Yourself
Wedding planning takes a lot of time, patience and effort. Yet still, many brides believe that they can shoulder the entire burden themselves. You might be told that wedding planners are a waste of money, that too many cooks spoil the broth, and that you can manage fine on your own.
But believe us, if you try and do everything by yourself, you’ll regret it. You’ll start suffering from wedding planning stress, and struggle to cope. Hiring a wedding planner is the best option, but if you can’t afford it, at least ask some of your bridal party to help you out. You can still have the final say in decision-making, but they can act as your agents.
The Groom’s Opinion Doesn’t Matter
The wedding day is all about the bride, right? This is something you’ll hear again and again in the lead up to your wedding. “It’s your special day, so nobody else’s opinion matters – do what makes you happy!”
While this may sound like helpful advice on the surface, the day isn’t all about you – remember that there are two people getting married! Don’t be a bridezilla – what your partner wants is equally important. Involve your partner as much as you can in wedding planning, and ask his opinion before making any big decisions. If you disagree, come to a compromise rather than playing the “I’m the bride” card.
The More Guests, the Better
The more guests you invite to your wedding, the more fun you’ll have, and (more importantly) the more gifts you’ll receive! Sounds good, right?
Unfortunately, big weddings take a lot more effort and money to organise than smaller ones. The more guests you have, the larger the venue you’ll need and the higher your catering costs. The extra gifts or cash you’ll receive from guests won’t necessarily offset this cost (bear in mind that not all guests will even give a gift). And you’ll also spend one of the most intimate moments of your life – saying “I do” – surrounded by people you don’t know very well. Focus on quality, rather than quantity.
Your Parents Get to Invite People
Along the same lines, some people (most notably, the parents of the bride and groom) might try to convince you that they should have a say in who you invite to your wedding. This is absolutely not true. The bride and groom are the only people who get to make that decision.
Even the most laid-back parents can go crazy when it comes to their child’s wedding. They’ll suddenly insist that Great Aunt Susan, (you haven’t seen in 10 years and probably wouldn’t recognise if you saw in the street), absolutely must come. Remember that it’s your day, and your choice who gets an invitation- even if your parents are paying for your wedding. Be polite but firm, and only invite people that you truly care about.
You Need a Wedding Theme
One of the first questions you’ll get asked when you announce your upcoming wedding is ‘what’s your theme?’ Is your wedding going to be rustic, vintage, or modern? Or will it be beach-themed, Bohemian, or glamorous?
None of that actually matters if you don’t want it to. There’s no rule that all weddings must be themed – and “we’re getting married” is a perfectly good theme in itself! It’s more than enough to choose your decorations and wedding stationery based on what you like, and what looks good together.
You Have to Stick to Tradition
There are so many ancient wedding traditions – many of which are regularly upheld to this day. You’ve heard them all: the bride must wear white, the bride can’t see the groom before the wedding, the bride’s father must ‘give her away’, you must have a first dance, etc.
Don’t be afraid of offending your older or more traditional relatives if you don’t want to do any (or all) of these. They may have been the ‘done thing’ once, but it’s completely up to you and your other half which traditions you want to uphold. Yes, you may get some odd looks or comments if you want to have breakfast with your groom before the ceremony – but you do you.
Order Your Wedding Dress Online
There are so many wedding-related items you can order online these days. You can hire your tablecloths and chair covers online, buy your decorations and wedding stationery, and even find your photographer over the internet. But whatever you do, don’t be tempted to buy your wedding dress without trying it on in person first.
There are lots of websites popping up nowadays that sell brand-new wedding dresses for insanely cheap prices. The problem? Many of them are fraudulent. They steal images from real designers, and reproduce them on the cheap, sending you an inferior quality product. And if they’re based outside of the U.K. – which most of them are – they are exempt from our Consumer Rights laws, meaning you might not even be able to get a refund.
It’s OK to Skimp on Catering
Catering is one of the most expensive costs associated with any wedding. The average amount spent on wedding catering can vary from around £40 to £150 per head (depending on the type of cuisine, number of courses, and whether you’re providing drinks).
But it’s important not to skimp on the food and drink at your wedding. This isn’t an area where it’s OK to cut corners. The meal is one of the most memorable parts of any wedding, and how you give back to your guests – and you don’t want to disappoint anyone by serving bad food. There are plenty of guides online dedicated to cutting catering costs, but don’t be tempted. And always have a tasting session before committing to a caterer.
You Don’t Need to Hire a Professional
One of the most common budget-saving wedding tips is to recruit friends and family as suppliers, instead of hiring a professional – but this might turn out to be a mistake. Just because someone owns a DSLR camera, that doesn’t automatically make them a good wedding photographer. Your children and grandchildren will be looking at those photos for years, so you need to make sure they’re done properly.
In the same vein, you might have a friend who’s great at baking, but three-tier wedding cakes might be out of their league. Only hire an amateur for any part of your wedding if you’re absolutely confident in their talent.
Seating Plans are Unnecessary
It can be quite stressful making a seating chart (also known as a table plan) for your wedding breakfast. You have to figure out how many tables you’ll need, how many people will go on each table and, crucially, who sits where.
You might be told by well-meaning people that you can skip the seating plan, and just let people choose where to sit, as they would at a normal party. But this would be a big mistake. Guests feel awkward choosing where to sit, and will always avoid sitting next to strangers, meaning there will be small gaps dotted everywhere. You’ll be left with couples and families that can’t find anywhere to sit together. Trust us, make a seating plan (no matter how few guests you have).
Hair and Makeup Trials Are a Waste of Money
Most wedding hair stylists and makeup artists will offer you the opportunity to have a ‘trial run’ before your wedding. They’ll do your hair and makeup in exactly the way they would on your wedding day, so you can see whether you’re happy with the result. And yes, they’ll charge you the full amount for this trial – it isn’t free.
But don’t let anyone tell you that you can safely skip the trial run. It’s vitally important that you’re happy with the way your stylist works, and how the end result looks, before your big day. It’s also important to know how long it’ll take, so that you can work this into your wedding day schedule. Don’t just go by their portfolio – you can’t know if a look will suit you until you’ve tried it.
Thank You Cards Are Outdated
The final piece of bad advice you might hear goes something like this: “You don’t need to bother sending thank you cards. That’s an old fashioned rule, nobody does it anymore.” And while it is true that more and more couples are choosing to skip sending thank you cards, that doesn’t mean it’s right, or that you should.
Sending thank you cards is only polite – after all, your guests have sacrificed their time to see you tie the knot, and most of them will have given you gifts to boot. It’s the least you can do, and it’s one tradition that really shouldn’t be skipped.