What Do You Write in a Wedding Thank You Card?
Once your wedding day is over, you can enjoy your honeymoon; but even though you want some precious time with your new partner, there’s still wedding admin to be done. Specifically, you have to think about sending wedding thank you cards.
What do you write in a wedding thank you card? Most come printed with a basic message of thanks already. You can go further by thanking a guest for their specific gift, or for something in particular that they said to you. Thanking a guest in person or over the phone is also possible, although this is difficult if you had lots of guests.
Try not to overthink your message. Come up with a basic formula and use it, adding on to it to refer to the gifts you were given or what each guest said to you. To figure out exactly what to write, read our guide below…
What Do You Write in a Wedding Thank You Card?
The purpose of a wedding thank you card is to give thanks to somebody, either for attending, or for giving you a gift. The point is to recognise the effort that somebody went to in order to attend your wedding (or for giving you something to start your new life with).
So, whatever you write should be guided by that. A simple ‘thank you for attending’ is absolutely fine, and is completely understandable if you have lots of guests to write to. Unless the guest bought you something big and expensive, they likely weren’t expecting a long thank you letter anyway.
You can write something funny and heartfelt, too, so long as you remember to say thank you for their attending or gift. If you’re writing to a good friend or sibling, you can write anything you like in the card. But if it’s to an acquaintance or distant relative, you might want to stick to something formal.
Pre-Written Wedding Thank You Card
Your first option is to buy a card with a message already written on it. When you buy a card from a stationery printing company, it usually has a greeting on it already. It will usually say something like “Thank you for attending our special day. Sarah & James.”
The greeting is normally basic in nature. It will be two or three lines, thanking the guest for attending and wishing them well. This is essentially what most guests expect from a thank you card.
There’s nothing wrong with sending the card with nothing but this message on it. Your guest will be happy enough that they received the card. But that being said, they would appreciate the thank you card more if it had a real message from you on it.
Most template thank you cards already have a greeting in them. The ones you buy from a greeting card store obviously do, but the personalised cards you can buy from an online stationery printer do too. But there are some which don’t have anything on them, and that you’re expected to fill in entirely on your own. If you want to save time, then, pick a template that has a greeting on it already.
How to Say Thank You
Beyond the pre-written message, your first task is to give thanks. Don’t overthink this: just do it! Thank every guest for attending, and doubly thank any guest that gave you a gift. Something basic like “Thanks for attending our wedding… We hope you had a wonderful time!” is perfectly acceptable.
If they gave you a gift, thank them for that too. You could also try to make reference to the specific gift so that the guest knows you’re being sincere. So, for example, you might write:
“Thanks so much for coming to our wedding. And thanks for your gift, too: although I think the china you got us is too nice to use every day, so we’ll have to save it for special occasions!”
You could opt for a basic ‘thank you’ with no further details. But it’s far more meaningful if you do, because the guest will know that you like the gift… Or at least think you do, even if you don’t, which is what really matters!
How Long Should the Message Be?
This depends on how many cards you have to fill in. if you have a hundred cards to fill in, stuff into an envelope and send in the mail, then you can’t afford the time it would take to leave a heartfelt message in each of them. It would simply take too long.
As such, you might want to come up with a formulaic thank you message that you write in each card. Something basic like “Thank you so much for coming to our wedding. We were so happy to have you there, and we hope you were happy there too,” would do fine. This is only two lines long, but it’s heartfelt and conveys your message well.
Then, for guests who are closer to you, you can add a little something extra. But by keeping the message short, you won’t have to spend days writing your cards out.
What Else to Include?
Besides that, you could include reference something that happened at the reception involving the guest, or something they said. It doesn’t matter what this is; but if it’s something meaningful, you could thank them for saying it, for example. So:
“Thanks for attending our ceremony, and the reception afterwards. And thank you for the kind words you gave us at the meal, too; they meant an awful lot!”
Again, the idea is to show that you care about the guest, what they think, and what they may have given you as a gift. To make a personal reference to something that happened or was said lets the guest know that your thanks are truly coming from the heart. It means a lot more than a generic ‘Thank you.”
Do You Have to Send a Thank You Card?
You can get away with not sending a thank you card, provided that you thank your guests in other ways. This isn’t always possible, especially if you had a large wedding party. It would be difficult to keep track of who you called and who you got through to if you had to call a hundred or more people (plus it might result in a gigantic phone bill!)
But if you only had a tiny wedding, this is entirely feasible. Some people, like your parents and parents-in-law, you’ll be seeing soon after the event anyway. You can thank these people in person; it means more than a card anyway.
When you talk to the person face to face, you can say whatever you like. You’re not bound by etiquette to thank them in a certain way. So, you could say the words ‘thank you’, or you could do something for them, like take them for a meal or a drink. You might prefer doing this, especially if you aren’t a formal person.
Can You Email Guests a Thank You Message?
If you want to save money, then there are several alternatives to sending a physical card. Thanking the guest in person can work if you had a small ceremony, but if you had lots of guests, that may not be possible.
You could email your guests to say thank you. This is, of course, free; it’s also easy because you could write out a template and send it to each of the guests.
The big drawback with emailing is that it isn’t exactly heartfelt. Emails can easily get lost in junk folders, and even if they do get through, they don’t show your guests that you truly care. Plus, if you use a template, you can’t thank each guest for their specific gift or contribution.
It would be better not to send a message at all rather than give this impression! So, stick to sending a real ‘thank you’ card, calling, or talking to your guests in person.
Do You Have to Send a Wedding Thank You Card to Every Guest?
This is a question that many couples ask. You could save time and money by only sending thank you cards to the guests who matter most: those who you’re closest to, and those who went out of their way to get you a special gift.
This isn’t a good idea. Even if you aren’t close to a particular guest, that guest is likely close to lots of other people who were in your wedding party. When they hear that other people got thank you cards, they might feel that it was rude not to send them one too. And in truth, it is a little rude. It would be better not to send any thank you cards at all!